Finding Home in a Turbulent World
For years to come, historians, sociologists, and public health professionals will be writing and researching the unexpectedly turbulent events of 2020. When the first lock down began for Florida in March 2020, I had actually been shifting my pace of life and working partially remotely since October 2019. So I had practice.
When GEN2050 2019 Summer Camp ended in August 2019, I was feeling more worn out than usual. Summer camp is a full-on, “all hands on deck” work experience. I was accustomed to the end of summer camp exhaustion, but this was different. I almost couldn’t articulate how I felt. The word “awful” didn’t have enough depth to describe how I felt.
When I visited my daughter, a physician, at her home in the Washington, DC area a few weeks later, she said, “Mom, I think there is something wrong with your thyroid. When you get home, go to your primary physician.” After a few doctor visits and a lots of bloodwork, we found out that my daughter had been correct. My doctor diagnosed me to have hyperthyroidism (Graves Disease).
I was devastated. I was in shock. In order to go into remission, I would need to restructure my work schedule, my diet, my sleep schedule, and my mindset.
In March 2020, when the COVID-19 lockdowns begin to spread across the United States, I watched people respond outwardly in ways that I had responded internally to my Graves disease diagnosis and subsequent mandate to restructure my life a few months before. Even though I wanted to be healthy, I was aggravated by the whole thing. It just wasn’t fair. I didn’t want to do it. I felt robbed of personal choice and freedom. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin and the spaces and boundaries I had to keep. My life was undergoing change that I did not want nor appreciate.
As I wrestled with my own self internally, I decided to make an intentional decision. I decided to “find home” again. Home can mean different things to different people, but for me home is:
- an internal quietness of peace and safety,
- a routine that I can keep in multiple locations,
- an optimistic, balanced response in the face of unexpected challenges,
- personal connection with people who I love and who love me, in person, by phone, or online, and
- digging deep down into my faith in God.
These are the things that have sustained me over the last sixteen months.
My goal throughout the next few months is to share more about my journey to “finding home” through this blog.
“Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can’t bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can’t bear fruit unless you are joined with me.” ~ John 15:4 (The Message Bible)
(photo credit: Linda Freeman, North Carolina, September 2020)